“You’re not selfish, you’re grieving.”

December 7th, 2015 · 0 comments

Literally moments after I stood in my bathroom readying for bed – rinsing honey from my face and plaiting my hair and thinking, heavily, how, grief has made me selfish, how it has kept me from responding to every gracious hand that has reached out to me in the last several weeks – I slinked into bed and was greeted with this message, in this night’s chosen book.

(“Grief has made me selfish,” I thought.)

“You’re not selfish, you’re grieving.”

You’re not selfish. You’re grieving.

And my heart, my heart, I thought. The Universe always provides.

With much love and tender gratitude to each and every one of you who has taken the time to tell me your stories and offered concern, again and again. I have been an awful friend these weeks, an awful do’er of normal things, an awful human with a no longer intact family. But every effort, every kindness, is taken and kept and folded and unfolded and looked at over & over again with great love and relief and great gratitude. I have felt so cared for. Protected. Tended. And I remember where it’s warm. I always remember where it’s warm.

Thank you, endlessly, friends. Thank you thank you thank you, and a thousand times, thank you.

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