the movements of things small and hot and bright;

September 6th, 2005 · 4 comments

i am not strong enough to survive in this world. (-)

.

one of the necklaces that has been a constant around my neck for almost a year – the one on which my dragonfly hung – was unceremoniously snapped off. on friday night. i have been unable to wear the other one, now solitary, a single piece, since then. my fingers are surprised, again & again, stretching towards phantoms at my throat. finding nothing there.
 
these things seemed important;

• biting down on my tongue ring so violently while laughing that i sincerely believed i might have really cracked a tooth this time.
• waking up with zero 7 in my head again.
• the woman at the market. bitte, bitte.
my life in boxes, still.
 
saturday night, driving down mulholland with the windows down and coldplay spilling out of all our corners. i am thinking about the edges of these rooms, my hair in your hands, the heat in the spaces left behind.

· do you ever think about the people around you dying?
· of course.
 
lights in the corners of my eyes. ghosts at my neck.

{ 4 Responses to the movements of things small and hot and bright; }

  • northsea says:

    BARBIES! :D

    FOAM BOWLS! :D

    oh, t.b. stands for TA-BELLE and TUBERCOLOSIS! (and, like, totally beautiful. AHAHAH! THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE! deity in stockings, yeah. your daddy must’ve been a thief, etc.)

    i hate it so much when precious things break. on friday morning, the handle of my favourite mug, the one that i’ve taken my tea out of for over two years now, snapped off. i felt sort of hollow and odd and soft and ghostlike the whole day long. and that dragonfly was so beautiful. but soon there will be something else.

  • do you ever think about the people around you dying?
    It’s such a strange and overwhelming tragedy.
    I feel like a river full of stones just trying to process… this. Everything.

    But! In spite of– I’m glad to know that you made it safely across state lines, ma cherie. (sp?) Your life may still be in boxes (here and there) but at least you are warm and safe and with people you love.
    oxoxo

  • gabey says:

    welcome to lala land fair princess.

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